Bin Laden Warns of Attacks, Offers Truce
By LEE KEATH, Associated Press Writer

CAIRO, Egypt - Al-Jazeera on Thursday aired an audiotape purportedly from Osama bin Laden, who says al-Qaida is making preparations for attacks in the United States but offering a truce "with fair conditions."

"Fair conditions"? Bin Laden's offering to turn himself in and be tried by a war crimes tribunal? I doubt it.

The tape's release came days after a U.S. airstrike in Pakistan that was targeting bin Laden's deputy, Ayman al-Zawahri, and reportedly killed four leading al-Qaida figures, including possibly al-Zawahri's son-in-law. There was no mention of the attack on the segments that were broadcast.

KABOOM!

It was the first purported tape from the al-Qaida leader in more than a year - the longest period without a message since the Sept. 11 2001 suicide hijackings in the United States.

Bin Laden would be best off just to shut up altogether.

The tape appeared to have been made since late November. The speaker refers to an alleged comment by President Bush about bombing the Qatar headquarters of Al-Jazeera, which was first reported in the British press on Nov. 22.

Too bad he didn't just level the place. It would have made more sense.

He also refers indirectly to the July 7 bombings in London that killed 56 people and to poll numbers that showed a fall in Bush's popularity, as occurred in late 2005.

Poll numbers that are totally irrelevant, given that President Bush doesn't face the voters again. Thanks for the bombings in London, by the way, Osama. They've further solidified our Alliance with the Brits.

The voice on the tape said he was directing his message to the American people after polls showed that "an overwhelming majority of you want the withdrawal of American troops from Iraq but (Bush) opposed that desire."

Osama, when you are a citizen of this country, you will have the authority and the right to comment on any polls taken here. Until then, kindly shut the fuck up.

He said insurgents were winning the conflict in Iraq and warned that security measures in the West and the United States could not prevent attacks there.

First of all, there are no "insurgents" in Iraq. The people fighting there are NOT Iraqis. They are terrorists from other countries sent there to fight for al-Queerda. If these asshats were winning, there would have been little or no turnout in any of the recent elections. Once again, Osama, you lose. As to preventing attacks here in America, we will prevent as many of them as we can, and we will avenge those that we can't, Sheehag be damned. Just be sure you keep that bulls-eye we have painted on your face in plain view, ok?

"The proof of that is the explosions you have seen in the capitals of European nations," he said "The delay in similar operations happening in America has not been because of failure to break through your security measures. The operations are under preparation and you will see them in your homes the minute they are through (with preparations), with God's permission."

Well, there you go. As if you've had God's permission for any of your shenanigans. If you want to keep feeding the world's sentiment against you, you just go right ahead blowing people up and pissing off their families and countrymen. Paper tiger, my ass.

The speaker did not give conditions for a truce in the excerpts aired by Al-Jazeera.

Probably because Al-Jazeera knew not to bother broadcasting them because they were unacceptable anyway.

"We do not mind offering you a long-term truce with fair conditions that we adhere to," he said. "We are a nation that God has forbidden to lie and cheat. So both sides can enjoy security and stability under this truce so we can build Iraq and Afghanistan, which have been destroyed in this war.

OK, so lying and cheating is a problem, but encouraging people to blow themselves up and kill other people is just peachy?

Oh, and while we're at it, can you please explain how your assessment of the "insurgency" in Iraq "winning" is anything other than a lie? Face it, lipschitz. You're getting your Islamofascist ass kicked.

"There is no shame in this solution, which prevents the wasting of billions of dollars that have gone to those with influence and merchants of war in America," he said.

Billions of dollars squashing your sorry ass and everything it stands for is, in my view, money well spent.

There was no immediate confirmation of the tape's authenticity, although the voice resembled that of bin Laden's in previous messages.

The last audiotape purported to be from bin Laden was broadcast in December 2004 by Al-Jazeera. In that recording, he endorsed Abu-Musab al-Zarqawi as his deputy in Iraq and called for a boycott of Iraqi elections.

Your "insurgency" didn't win that day. And it won't win the next time Iraq goes to the polls, either.

Since then, bin Laden's deputy in al-Qaida, Ayman al-Zawahri, has issued a number of video and audiotapes, including one claiming responsibility for the London attacks, which he said came after Europe rejected the terms of a truce al-Qaida had previously offered them.

And after which the Brits just kept doing the right thing, to their credit. Fuck you and the goat you fucked last night, Osama.

Al-Jazeera's editor-in-chief Ahmed al-Sheik would not comment on when or where the tape was received. He said the full tape was 10 minutes long. The station aired four excerpts with what it "considered newsworthy," he said, but would not say what was on the remainder.

Ain't that just like network news! Al-Jazeera must be reading CBS's playbook. Ten minutes of tape, and they air only four excerpts - the ones THEY considered newsworthy.

A couple of points:

1. The only "fair conditions" involved in any truce will include Osama turning himself in for trial and the halting of all terrorist activity performed in his name.

2. The rebuilding of Iraq and Afghanistan is going along just fine, despite Osama's efforts to derail it.

3. Killing their loved ones and countrymen and/or threatening to do so does not scare free people into submission. It scares them into resolve.

4. Even some of the most loony of anti-war Donks aren't advocating a sudden pullout from Iraq. Everyone recognizes the need to finish the job there.

5. Frankly, our military, the finest the world has to offer, is one of the few things we spend big bucks on that's authorized by the Constitution. If a shitload of cash-ola winds up in the hands of the "merchants of war", and those "merchants" are able to keep terrorists at bay, then so be it. That's what we spend the money for.

So Osama can ask for a truce if he wants. He can even pretend he's winning the war and try to scare Americans into accepting his "fair conditions", whatever they may be. Fact is, he's not getting one and Americans won't back down just because he says our President is full of shit. He may very well be. But I'll take him (or Clinton, for that matter) over Osama, any day.

RWR